Why Germans Are Chaning My Mind About Birthdays

I wasn't expecting anything more than a few nice birthday wishes from people in the States over facebook, and I certainly expect anyone to learn that it was my birthday over here because I hadn't told anybody, nor did I have the intention of telling anybody. But Germans are clever. Once one of them found out, they all found out. And they moved fast to make sure it would be a special day for me.

First they surprised me with a cake at lunch. One of the guys that I share an office with came upstairs as I was working, and pretending to be out of breath, he asked me if I could help him move some boxes downstairs. I followed him downstairs and into the dining hall where everyone was eating lunch, and as I soon as I walked in everyone began singing happy birthday to me in English and I noticed they had a cake with a few candles lit on the table nearest to me. I was completely surprised! I just stood there smiling, wishing I could think of the words fast enough in German to express how much it meant to me (I think I just said "thank you" like a million times).

After work, they organized a game of volleyball, because they remembered that I said I really enjoyed playing the sport. And like all Europeans, they were extremely athletic, so the level of competition was just how I like it! Afterward, a few guys invited all of us over to their apartment to eat, watch the Uruguay vs. Holland game half-heartedly, and just enjoyed spending time with one another. They let me speak English, partly because it was my birthday and partly because my German doesn't even compare to their English, so I was able to actually speak intelligently and add something meaningful to the conversation without worrying about incorrect grammar and insufficient vocabulary!

Just as I thought things were about to wrap up, Steffi, one of my good friends who works as a secretary at the seminary handed me a gift wrapped in orange paper. Everyone gathered around and insisted that I open it immediately (I had this eerie feeling like they all knew something I didn't). When I unwrapped it, I became the proud owner of an official Adidas German Football Fan jersey. It's sleak, and a little expense from what I hear, so it's definitely something to be worn with pride. Germany plays Spain today in the semi-finals. It's a huge deal to them, and they wanted to make sure I'd be supporting Germany in style! Once again, they got me. I was stunned. Above all, I felt so much gratitude because of their thoughtfulness and generosity.

The entire day they went out of their way to ensure that it was a special day for me, making me feel loved and important to them, and all-the-while I feel like I'm just a stranger bumping into them for a brief moment in life. I certainly don't feel worthy of such generosity, but once again, I see that love has nothing to do with worthiness. Thankfulness does, however. And I am thankful.

I think a lot of us view Germans as a very rigid, unfeeling, and strict people. I shared that view at one point. I think we've got it all wrong, though. They care about people so much. They're kind and welcoming, even to foreigners like me who suck at their language and often pull the conversation selfishly toward excessive talk about American culture. They humble me. Not because of their rules, or their intelligence, or their flawless organizational skills, all of which they're most commonly known for, but because of their kindness, openness, acceptance, inclusiveness, relational sensitivity, and above all else, because of their love. For whatever reason, they think it's cool to let me be a part of their community, and I think it's pretty cool, too!

Geez, I'm really starting to get into birthdays now.

Meine Erste Deutsche Hochzeit (My Frist German Wedding)

Rather than explaining the whole event from start to finish, I thought it would be more interesting to give you a list of things that were similar or identical to American weddings, and things that were different. However, as many of the guests there told me, this wedding was a little bit different than normal German weddings. The bride and groom belong to an extremely innovative church called Freiraum (Free Space), and therefore, they put a creative twist on many of the components of a traditional wedding. I'll start with things that were the same or close to what we normally do in the States.

Similarities:

• The father walked the bride in.
  
• Everyone stood as the bride entered.
• The bride and groom exchanged vows with each other. (Although, I was told this is uncommon, and that they got this idea from watching American movies.)
  
• There was a reception following the ceremony.
• The father of the bride gave a toast during the reception.
• We danced. (This could go either way.)

Ok, time for things that were not so similar. I imagine this list will be a little bit longer.

Differences:

• The bride and groom have only one attendant apiece.
  
• The pastor and his wife tag-teamed the ceremony, dividing up the responsibilities evenly.
  
• The pastor wore plaid pants and converse.
• A rock band covered songs from Hillsong in English. Everyone stood and sang. (I doubt this is traditional.)
  
• The bride and groom were allowed to sit off to the side.
• The "you may now kiss the bride" part was not the end of the ceremony. It fell somewhere in the middle.
  
• The bride and groom both knelt to receive a blessing.
• The father of the bride got the first dance, not the groom.
• We ate a four course meal at the reception.
  
• An hour-long video of the both the bride and groom's childhood was shown.
  
• There was no wedding cake.
  
• We danced to two hours of techno.
• There was a pool in which we swam after dancing. If someone had forgotten to bring a bathing suit with them, they swam in their underwear.
• The whole event lasted 11 hours. We didn't get home until 5 a.m.
  

I enjoyed myself immensely, switching back and forth between German and English as I mingled with the guests, introducing myself to new faces, and seeing people with whom I've already had a lot of contact with. I was deeply honored to have been invited to celebrate with the bride and groom on such an important day for them and their families, especially since I was just this foreign kid hanging around for the summer. Very thankful.

I wish we had 11-hour weddings in the States. I love weddings.

A Rich Community

There's something special about real community. When you find it, it almost feels like a deep craving in your life has been filled. It feels warm. It gives you comfort and makes you strong. But it's kind of rare. Although we need it so desperately, many of us walk around without any real connections to people around us. Maybe that's why it feels so refreshing when we find a group of people who are really experiencing community with one another. Maybe it's because we deprive ourselves of it, thinking that there are better things to pursue with our time: money, clothes, cars, houses, ipods, TVs, computers, furniture, shoes, vacations, parties, music, stuff.

I found people that didn't have any of these things. But they had something that a lot of the rest of us don't have--community. One of things I love about community is that you can't buy it. Whether you're rich or poor, there's only one way to have community: be community. Love people, serve people. Listen to people, share with people. Be a friend. That's how it's done. The people I found were a grungy crowd of homeless people, drug addicts, alcoholics, and victims of abuse. Every Friday they meet downtown in Bonn in what looks like a small street apartment building. It's kind of like a Salvation Army house. They gather together to talk, to share a meal, to sing, and listen to scripture together. It's beautiful. They have few manners, but greet each other with hugs and laughter. They're dirty and unshaven, but their souls are as bright as the sun. They can't sing on pitch at all, but they sing loudly with grateful hearts. They're hungry, but their hearts are full of grace. They're not educated, but they're masterful story tellers and compelling relaters. They're broken people, but they have each other and they have Christ.

Many of them are Christians. Through the work of this ministry, many of them have found themselves on a journey of faith. There's one full minister and several volunteers at this ministry. I sort of invited myself to go to their dinner meeting last Friday. A friend of mine at the Bible School goes every week. One day I overheard him talking about it, and I asked him if I could go with him. He told me yes. When arrived there at about 4:30 pm on Friday evening, we met in a dinning hall, where there was a long table standing in the middle of room, and it had already been set. Shortly after, men and women began to come in and take a place at the table. When everyone arrived, we began to sing. A young woman about my age played the piano, and my friend from the Bible School played the guitar. We sang several songs together, worshiping and giving thanks to God. After that, the minister read out of Psalms and encouraged the people there with such grace, kindness, and understanding. I didn't understand all of what was said, but you don't need a translator to understand when someone is speaking from his heart. After his short message, we prayed, and then ate together.

We talked for hours. Several of them were quite interested in me, once they learned that I was an American, and especially after they learned I could speak some German. They asked me questions, which I did my best to answer, and then they told me stories. They were fascinating stories, as far as I could tell. I did my best to try to understand and ask questions when I thought it was appropriate. But I largely found that my involvement in the conversations happening at the table wasn't really all that necessary. They hadn't come to see me. They came to see each other, because they loved each other and they needed each other. They were so happy being with one another. They joked, they laughed, they told stories, they nodded their heads in respect...they enjoyed one another.

I just sat back and watched the beauty of their community unfolding before me. I told God how wonderful I thought it all was. I thanked him for loving people like them, and for teaching me that it's not the rich and educated that have it all together. It's the poor, the sick, the weak, the unable, the uneducated, the drug addict, the alcoholic, the orphan, the widow, and the downright sinners that the kingdom of God really belongs to. They receive him with unsuppressed joy, because he's all they have. I asked God to make me more like them. That may seem strange to you, but you see, these people are richer than we are.

Germany - Week 3 Update

Work is challenging, and at a times a bit slow, but it's coming along. I'm about mid-way through the process of compiling a list of foundations through which we can apply for grants for this new training program. It's tedious to pore over the hundreds of potential grants we could apply for to see if our program's objectives meet their guidelines. I have to remind myself that this slow and often frustrating part of the work is essential to the formation of the program. I have to fix my mind on the end goal, and that is the training and equipping of church leaders to make disciples in their communities, who will in turn make more disciples themselves, and by so doing, they join in as a part of Jesus Christ bringing his kingdom to earth. This is the call and the work of Christ for every believer.

Sometimes I get away from the office to help with a small group for the States that is here for two weeks. They're a singing group, but they're participating in a number of other projects and areas of work. I've been with them to sing at a number of places (including the Cologne Dome, which was awesome!), but one of the most meaningful experiences I had with them was participating in an English conversation group. An American woman hosts this group at her apartment and invites her neighbors, friends, and anyone interested to come and practice their English. She comes up with themes for discussion, and often puts together discussion topics and questions to facilitate discussions among the guests. The cool thing is, it's not just Germans who show up to this. There are several people belonging to other nationalities that have started coming.

So we went on Tuesday night and discussed music--types of music, emotions associated with music, traditions associated with music, dancing, poetry, and style. There were three internationals there--two German and one Cambodian. Regularly they have about six to eight members, but several were out of town, as two German holidays were celebrated week. Never-the-less, we had a lot of fun listening to all kinds of music and then talking about it. Personally, I love music, so it's never hard for me to have a conversation about music with anyone! And I think that a person's musical preference can tell a lot about who they are, because you're not just discussing rhythms, notes, instruments, and voices, you're discussing emotion, art, stories, interpretations, world views. It's meaningful. It gives you insight into how someone else thinks, how they approach the world around them and what conclusions they've come to. That's exactly what we were doing. We were gaining great insight into the lives of one another. At the end of the night, we felt so open and honest with each other. We knew something of importance about one another. This group meets every week, and I think there will be two meetings next week, in fact. So hopefully I will see them again, and I look forward to sharing more of myself with them and hopefully learning more about who they are, too.

This kind of relational ministry is exactly what Germany needs, I think. I've been having conversations with several of the missionaries and seminary students here, and they've all described how much time you have to devote to making disciples among these people. They all expressed how missionaries, pastors, church leaders, and evangelists in the past tried all these crusades, conferences, Bible tracks, in-your-face, hit-them-over-the-head evangelism techniques to minister to people, but it simply wasn't useful in making disciples. God is challenging his people in Germany to get creative in how they minister to their neighbors. They must think differently, try new things, and invest lots of time and hard-work into building friendships in their communities. They are learning that it takes time to share the gospel, and it is essential to remain patient and to prove trustworthy. Only then is the gospel received. I'm reading through the book of Mark in my German Bible, and just yesterday I read this: "Auch füllt niemand neuen Wein, der noch gärt, in alte Schläuche... Nein, neuer Wein gehört in neue Schläuche!" It's Mark 2:22. "Nor does anyone pour new wine into used wineskins... Instead, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins."

Think about it.